| CD: |
darkspruceforestfrownedoneithersidethefrozenwaterwaythetreeshadbeenstripp
edbyarecentwind |
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| Andrew: |
I learned that I never used punctuation
properly. I just rushed in, saying everything
with just one breath. |
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| Coach: |
And
there was a difference in the second reading,
wasn’t there. |
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| CD: |
a vast silence reigned over the land
the land itself was a desolation lifeless
without movement so lone and cold |
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| Andrew: |
I slowed down for the second try
but still didn’t use the commas
and periods. |
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| Coach: |
O.K.
And then what happened with your third
try? It was… different… |
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| CD: |
than any sadness a laughter. That was
as mirthless. As the smile of the sphinx.
Laughter cold as. The frost and. Partaking.
Of the grimness of. Infallibility it was.
|
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| Andrew: |
Well,I tried to bring expression
to the words but only stressed the wrong
words in the wrong place! |
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| Coach: |
So,
what happened to the grammar? |
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| Andrew: |
It just got fouled up. The sentences
didn’t make any sense. |
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| Coach: |
Do
you remember one in particular? |
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| Andrew: |
Well, when I was reading, “Infallibility
it was” I remember thinking, “This
is unfinished, doesn’t make sense”. |
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| Coach: |
And
yet, it’s one of your favorite books,
isn’t it, “White Fang”
by Jack London. Did you feel it didn’t
make sense when you first read it? |
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| Andrew: |
No way. It gripped me. I felt as
if I was there. |
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| Coach: |
Where? |
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| Andrew: |
On the side of “the frozen
waterway”. From that first paragraph
every scene was very real. |
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| Coach: |
Well,
you know, that’s what we’re
aiming for with these sessions. To
bring the text to life. Once we recognize
that punctuation has a specific purpose
in each sentence we’re able to utilize
it when reading aloud. So, in today’s
session we’ll follow the punctuation
for good phrasing and also we’ll
review why the author specifically chose
each word. |
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| Andrew: |
Well, how do we do that? |
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| Coach: |
It’s
easy! Just listen to how words sound
when said spontaneously in different
situations. Like…“It’s
getting cold” “Brrrr, it’s
getting colder” It’s freezing
cold out there!”
Did
you hear how the voice lowers with each
degree of change, and in the last example,
even dragged out the syllables. Our
aim is to convey some of that when reading
out loud.
So,
if you’ll scan this paragraph
quickly, which words give you an idea
of the mood? What do they tell you about
how it should be narrated? (Slight
pause) |
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| Andrew: |
It’s solidly-frozen-and-cold |
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| Coach: |
Right,
that is very important to remember in
this reading. And also remember, period
to period is a complete sentence,
and comma to comma
contains a descriptive phrase within
it. So, what have we decided is the
important thing to remember about commas? |
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| Andrew: |
If the voice is dropped it sounds
like a period, meaning that the sentence
hasn’t been finished properly, and
the result is bad grammar and choppy
sentencing. |
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| Coach: |
Absolutely!
So, I’m going to ask you to scan
this and then read out loud. |
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| CD: |
Dark spruce forest frowned on either
side the frozen waterway. The trees had
been stripped by a recent wind of their
white covering of frost, and they seemed
to lean toward each other, black and ominous,
in the fading light……… |
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